It was with great sadness that we learnt of Bob’s death on March 8th and send our love and condolences to Pam, his widow and Jack, Mary-Rose & Clare his children and their many grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Bob had faithfully served St Mary’s Chediston as Church Warden for, I think, 20 years during which time, being a Lay Elder, he took some of our services and assisted with “communion” when required. He was very talented and was responsible for the restoration of the “Erasmus Paraphrase” for which he made a beautiful display case which can be seen at the back of the church. He was also responsible for repairing the Church Wardens’ staves and the candle snuffer, not forgetting the lovely offertory plate and stand which he made in memory of Bishop Higgs and his wife Elizabeth. Before moving to Cookley Grange, Chediston in 1970 Bob held a prestigious position at Shell.
He will be greatly missed by us all in Chediston and beyond. Although in latter years Pam & he moved to Holton, Bob still supported our services until very recently.
Bob's funeral was held at Chediston Church on Wednesday 29th March at 2.30pm
The Eulogy read at Bob's funeral follows:
Bob Lillingston
Eulogy
Jack Lillingston
29th March 2017
Good afternoon to ALL of you. I wanted to say a few words about Dad and give you an idea of where he came from and what he meant to us…
As you probably know I am Bob’s son Jack. My Mum Pam and my two sisters Maryrose and Clare are ready to correct any errors that I make!
But this service is all about Dad, So lets start at the beginning…
Dad was born in Sydney Australia, to Edward and Nancy Lillingston on 24th September 1925. Although Edward was born in Australia, he was educated in the UK and joined the The Royal Scotts Greys and was posted to India.
What were they doing in Sydney? Well Edward and Nancy had returned to the Ogilvie family estate, called Yulgibar, in May of that year. They came from India by boat, on compassionate leave, to see his dying mother.
Dad was the youngest of four children. Joyce (the eldest), Nigel, Peter and Bob. Joyce called him Bob - perhaps short for baby, and they name stuck. Interestingly his parents always called him Harry! Even though he was christened Henry.
Later that year they returned from Australia to India and then came back to the UK. Or more accurately Scotland. You can imagine the voyage of several months, travelling with such a small baby. Quite impressive!!
So they spent the next few years in Army bases in various parts of the UK. Where the Family had may happy camping, sailing and fishing holidays.
In the winters the whole family went off skiing to Switzerland to a pretty village called Zwiesimmen. It was a convoluted adventure in those days and took several days to get there!
They spent several weeks over Christmas and the New Year. In the mornings they walked up in the deep powder snow, as it was the only way up in those days. Then it was time for lunch and then the only run down of the day!.
It was Dad’s job, on the journey, to Switzerland to look after the home made Christmas Cake and ensure that it arrived in one piece, ready for Christmas Day!
In 1936 Bob’s Dad brought an old Falmouth Quay Punt. It was named Marie Louise. The boat was 14 tonnes and was the basis of many sailing adventures over the next few years.
Bob then went off to school at Winchester College in May 1939 he must have been 13 by then. He joined Nigel, who had gone there in January. His Dad had also been there when he was a youngster. Bob loved school life and continued to be close to his old school chums, for the rest of his life.
Dad was an excellent cross country runner and famously came first in a race and has never had his time beaten!
An old Aunt died in 1940 and left Bob’s Mum, Nancy, Ressuga, a house in Belstone, right on Dartmoor. So the family moved there and had many more adventures, riding, fishing and hiking over the moor.
Bob was called up in 1944 and joined the Navy where he was crew on HMS Mendip - a Hunt-class destroyer - it patrolled the North Sea looking for German submarines. But also picking survivors up out of the freezing North Sea.
Bob was demobilised in September 1946 and returned to a normal life. Skiing in the winter and Sailing in the summer returned. But Marie Louise had had no attention throughout the war years and had to be refitted. The family sailed to France many times, with lots of adventures. Dad often told a story about the Raz de Sein….. please ask me afterwards and I’ll tell it to you!
Bob then went to Cambridge University and read Estate Management.
In 1950 he joined an Estate Agent in Bridport where he also became a member of the local the Gilbert and Sullivan association. He performed as a Policeman in the Pirates of Penzance and his love for Gilbert and Sullivan was rooted. So much so that he left strict instruction that this service should include Gilbert and Sullivan music. So I hope you enjoyed the music before the service and will hum (or sing if you like) along to the tunes at the end of the service.
I am not sure he enjoyed the Estate Agency so in 1952 he started work for the Guinness family.
Then in 1953 he applied for a job at Royal Dutch Shell, and that was to be his work for the next 17 years! This new job took him to Norfolk to be close to Pamela Aldous and then Bob married Mum at Hitcham Church, Suffolk in 1956. They moved to a London Flat and then shortly afterward to a house in Blackheath.
I was born in London in March 1957 – so I guess that makes me a Londoner!
Working for Shell was an adventure in itself and in 1958 Bob went off to Iran for 6 months to help locals get on top of their locust problems.
Shell must have been pleased with his work, because in 1959 he went off to Southern Sudan in Africa, to help them control their locusts. Both of these periods must have been tough, with basic accommodation and sanitation and very high daytime temperatures!! And of course he was away from his new family...
Meanwhile Maryrose was born in 1959 and Mum had her hands full but sure enough their third child Clare was born in 1960.
As a Shell expert now he was then asked to go to Bangkok in 1960 – here he trained a local Thai employee in the finer art of Locust and other Pest control. This was to take 2 years but he had his family with him, and we all loved the place!
All good things eventually come to an end and so in 1962 Dad was posted to Ayr in Scotland. By this time I had started my sailing career at Salcome in Devon where Edward and Nancy now lived. In winter the whole family visited Austria, where the pretty Alpine villages of Neiderau and Albach hosted the growing Lillingston family.
In 1964 Cirencester beckoned and then, for a short time, Chester. These were our early school days and in the holidays we made annual trips to Aldeburgh & Hitcham.
I remember learning the finer points of racing dinghies from Dad on the Alde whilst the family watched on from the old Ionia – a beached wooden whaling boat on the edge of the river.
The Ionia was our home for 2 weeks each summer - it was basic but fun! For instance water had to be fetched by jerry can from a standpipe 100 yards away!
However by 1970 Dad had had enough of Shell and decided the time had come to live out his dream of running a fruit farm.
He retired from Shell and after much searching he found a 40 Acre plot for sale. It had the right soil and other demographics that you need to grow Cox’s Orange Pippins. And yes that was Town Farm here in Chediston.
But there was no house and Mum (rightly) refused to live in a tent (or a yacht). So the hunt began to find a suitable house. Luckily cousin James had an old run down farmhouse that his tenant had just vacated. So Cookley Grange was purchased and became the family home for over 30 years!
After a massive planting program the orchard produced a very decent crop of outstanding apples and latterly pears and plums.
However he still found time for hiking trips to the Alps. He went sailing most weekends during the summer at Aldeburgh. And he never missed any opportunity to head to the Alps for some skiing!
Sailing of course with Dad was full of adventures. Perhaps I should tell you all the story of our trip back from Newhaven via France in his newly purchased Hurley 24ft yacht!?? No it will take up too much time now! But I will tell you later if you ask!
But time marched on and Cookley Grange was likely to become a bit of a challenge for Mum and Dad in their twilight years. So in 2002 Mum and Dad sold Cookley Grange and moved into a modern house in Halesworth. It had less land and no outbuildings and windows that didn’t let any drafts in!. They still kept their close links with Chediston and the Church here, which is why we are here today.
Dad's 80th birthday party was a day to remember. A large party of friends and family boarded the Thames Barge "Thistle" in Ipswich and we sailed up the Orwell river as far as Levington and then sailed back!
Dad led a full and busy life in Halesworth spending lots of his time in his woodworking shed at the bottom of the garden.
He was a popular and well know figure in Halesworth and would regularly be seen out shopping for groceries and other necessities. Making the journey down town, in later years, on his “scooter”.
So Dad had a very full, busy and exciting life. He worked hard at work - and worked hard when he played. He grew up in a time where adventures really were adventures, life was tough and hard.
He leaves behind Pam his wife of 60 years, 3 children, 7 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren!
He was also a caring and kind husband - a considerate and generous man - and an excellent and supportive father.
What do we learn from his life – I think we can all answer that in different, but similar ways.
What did I learn from him? Lots! But looking back now I think that his sense of adventure shines though in all of his family and we are all the better for it.
Thank you.